Moving On...sort of



It’s been awhile! It’s been about the same since I posted last. Every month we go through the same thing.

Ovulation tests. Two week wait. Symptoms. Testing. Disappointment. Tears.

It’s all the same.

At this point we are ready to move on to the next step. My OB/GYN wants us to visit a fertility clinic as a couple. Up until now we have used our separate doctors including OB/GYN, Urologists, and Reproductive Endocrinologists. We have decided next month after Gavin’s birthday and the holidays are over with we will be setting up an appointment with one. They will give our final options which at this point is leaning towards IVF over IUI.

We will discuss it as a couple at that point, go through insurance to see what they cover if they will cover anything. Which I wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t knowing our record with them. Go through the costs of it which if you know anything about it then you know it’s not pretty.

If we are told that there are no options for us as a couple to have another biological child then we will move on.

Next step. It’s there but we are still holding on to this last bit of hope.

We are tired not only physically, but emotionally. We are only given a small window for this to happen so that’s why we have to rush this.

I don’t know what our future holds.

God knows our wants and desires. He is in complete control and it so hard to walk in faith with a journey like this.

To be constantly tested.

To see other families grow in front of you is a punch in the gut.

To see Gavin roll around with his cousin and stay up late talking to him while they were snuggled up together.

To know that he would benefit so much with a sibling.

I believe it will happen. Maybe not the way we had hoped or even dreamed of but I know this feeling of being incomplete is not for nothing.

So, that is where we are now.

Wait, wait, and some more waiting.